Born in an average middle class family, I was raised by parents who sacrificed their small desires to go the extra mile and satisfy us(my sister and me). They always made sure that we got the best of everything, be it school, college or university. Time flew and before graduating itself I had a job with a top e-commerce company where I started earning. Soon after graduating, got a job in the famous IT industry as a software engineer. This was what I studied engineering for, after all. There was a 100% increase from my previous salary. A life like this many would dream of, smooth without any hindrances. All of this should make me a happy person, right? It did not. Deep inside there was something that was missing, I could feel it. A sense of satisfaction eluded me internally. As I was nearing my second work anniversary as a software engineer, this elusion had become more. Life was alluding me to switch roles and try something different. Maybe it was the environment, maybe work cultures, maybe my declination towards coding. So I shifted roles into operations, in a startup that was fresh off the blocks. It was amazing at the beginning as there was so much to learn and huge chunks of work kept me occupied. I was happy, excited, thinking the best decision I've ever made. But as time passed on, the work got monotonous and history repeated itself. The dissatisfaction started popping again. Once you've learnt to handle a storm, the calm becomes tedious. Maybe I was expecting progress in work, maybe I wanted to study further, maybe the work was no more challenging, maybe the bossy leadership. All of these forced me to take a break, get out and experience the world for myself; as I wanted to figure out what I precisely wanted to do. I started to hike, trek, and explore nature to find the missing spark in life.
Everytime I went somewhere, it gave me adrenaline and a sense of peace. I thought this peace was because of this adrenaline and thus continued to explore adventure. I wanted to try everything that gives this rush. From deep sea diving to cliff jumping to river rafting to bungee jumping to paragliding to snorkeling to bike driving. Strode into forests, survived in the extreme weather conditions, traveled solo, slept in hostels, made friends with strangers, shared my joys and sorrows with them. I felt this was all I needed. As I came back to restore the normal life, I realized that the void was still present buried deep. A few travelers during my travels had suggested me to try meditation and I decided to give it a shot. This has changed my life forever.
I realized that I was looking for the missing pieces in my mind at all the wrong places- on the outside. We do so much in our everyday lives and get caught up in the "apparent reality" of the outside that we fail to look on the inside of us. All the missing pieces were lying right there, deep rooted in my unconscious mind, hiding themselves from the apparent reality of the outside. We live in a world that encourages the idea that in order to be internally satisfied, we have to rely on the external circumstances. I realized that the idea of success, happiness and satisfaction are all misguided; not only is this kind of success temporary, but also the happiness conditional. Once one experiences this, one starts to think differently. Yes, indeed everybody must have heard and read things like nothing lasts forever; nature(we) is impermanent; detach yourself from physical things to lead a happy life, but mere understanding of this at the intellectual level does not help; one has to understand this at the experiential level, and that is possible through meditation. One must experience the true inner self interacting with the external environment to have a true sense of success, happiness and satisfaction.
To give an example- one can read, learn, study, research on the swimming technique and understand it thoroughly at the intellectual level; but only when one gets into the water and experiences the technique will one be able to swim to the shore(experiential learning). One must experience the nature's law of impermanence to replace the negativity with positivity regardless of what the situation maybe. Our internal self should reflect our external environment to see the changes we wish to see. One also starts to think clearly, becomes calm, compassionate and empathetic on continued practice.
As one might have seen in my case, I was initially happy with whatever I was doing. But once the negativity of the external circumstances started to influence my inner self, I started to feel dissatisfied or unhappy. As in the case of my work life. In the second scenario, I liked the highs of traveling and adventure so much that I started to crave for it, and hence was left dissatisfied or unhappy when I restored my normal life. In either case, the balance of the mind was lost and meditation helps to maintain it.
The post is long and if you have made it this far and has inspired you to meditate to keep a balanced mind, please learn a technique and only then practise meditation. Vipassana in one such technique that I learned by attending a 10 day course. Here is the link www.dhamma.org in case you're interested to register for a course.
May all beings be happy.
Everytime I went somewhere, it gave me adrenaline and a sense of peace. I thought this peace was because of this adrenaline and thus continued to explore adventure. I wanted to try everything that gives this rush. From deep sea diving to cliff jumping to river rafting to bungee jumping to paragliding to snorkeling to bike driving. Strode into forests, survived in the extreme weather conditions, traveled solo, slept in hostels, made friends with strangers, shared my joys and sorrows with them. I felt this was all I needed. As I came back to restore the normal life, I realized that the void was still present buried deep. A few travelers during my travels had suggested me to try meditation and I decided to give it a shot. This has changed my life forever.
I realized that I was looking for the missing pieces in my mind at all the wrong places- on the outside. We do so much in our everyday lives and get caught up in the "apparent reality" of the outside that we fail to look on the inside of us. All the missing pieces were lying right there, deep rooted in my unconscious mind, hiding themselves from the apparent reality of the outside. We live in a world that encourages the idea that in order to be internally satisfied, we have to rely on the external circumstances. I realized that the idea of success, happiness and satisfaction are all misguided; not only is this kind of success temporary, but also the happiness conditional. Once one experiences this, one starts to think differently. Yes, indeed everybody must have heard and read things like nothing lasts forever; nature(we) is impermanent; detach yourself from physical things to lead a happy life, but mere understanding of this at the intellectual level does not help; one has to understand this at the experiential level, and that is possible through meditation. One must experience the true inner self interacting with the external environment to have a true sense of success, happiness and satisfaction.
To give an example- one can read, learn, study, research on the swimming technique and understand it thoroughly at the intellectual level; but only when one gets into the water and experiences the technique will one be able to swim to the shore(experiential learning). One must experience the nature's law of impermanence to replace the negativity with positivity regardless of what the situation maybe. Our internal self should reflect our external environment to see the changes we wish to see. One also starts to think clearly, becomes calm, compassionate and empathetic on continued practice.
As one might have seen in my case, I was initially happy with whatever I was doing. But once the negativity of the external circumstances started to influence my inner self, I started to feel dissatisfied or unhappy. As in the case of my work life. In the second scenario, I liked the highs of traveling and adventure so much that I started to crave for it, and hence was left dissatisfied or unhappy when I restored my normal life. In either case, the balance of the mind was lost and meditation helps to maintain it.
The post is long and if you have made it this far and has inspired you to meditate to keep a balanced mind, please learn a technique and only then practise meditation. Vipassana in one such technique that I learned by attending a 10 day course. Here is the link www.dhamma.org in case you're interested to register for a course.
May all beings be happy.
Nice article Bro.
ReplyDeleteHave gone through the same phase you experienced. Was always used to scare by hearing the word 'meditation', would like try now.
You should. Please do. :)
DeleteHave always wanted to give this a shot. I might think of this. Is Vipasana necessary to learn these techniques or can one learn them even otherwise? Please advice.
ReplyDeleteVipassana itself is a technique. It is a technique discovered by Gotama, the buddha, and he spent his entire lifetime in spreading it. This is also the same technique with which he became the "enlightened one". So when you go to a Vipassana meditation centre, they teach you nothing but Vipassana. Any meditation technique gives results when you practice it the correct way, therefore I recommend you to learn in any of the centres/institutes.
DeleteComing to your place after the vacation. Will sit in that dome and learn from you. :). Glad to see you back in the best of spirit. Always a great feeling to see people back in their element :)
DeleteDoor's always open. :)
Delete